Why Looking After Yourself Isn't Selfish
When life gets busy, it's easy to put everyone else first. But looking after yourself is an important part of looking after your health and wellbeing.
Do you put yourself last?
How often do you find yourself putting other people's needs before your own?
Perhaps you're busy supporting family members, managing work commitments, helping friends or simply trying to keep on top of everything life throws at you. You might tell yourself you'll make time for yourself when things calm down, when that job is finished or when everyone else is sorted.
But what happens when that time never seems to come?
For many of us, looking after ourselves can slip to the bottom of the list. We may even feel guilty when we take time out, as though we're being selfish or letting someone down.
The truth is that looking after yourself isn't selfish. It's an important part of maintaining your own health and wellbeing.
Why do we find it so difficult?
There are lots of reasons why we struggle to prioritise ourselves. We may have grown up believing that being helpful, reliable and putting others first is what we're supposed to do. We might worry about disappointing people or feel that we should be able to manage everything without needing a break.
Sometimes, we become so used to being busy that slowing down feels uncomfortable. We keep going, even when we're tired, stressed or running on empty. Over time, this can leave us feeling depleted, irritable or overwhelmed, with very little energy left for the things we enjoy. Recognising these patterns is a first step towards making a change.
What does looking after yourself really mean?
Self-care doesn't have to mean expensive treatments, spa days or taking a week away. It can be much simpler than that. It might mean:
Making time to rest. Giving yourself permission to pause without feeling that you always need to be doing something productive.
Moving your body. Finding an activity you enjoy, whether that's walking, gardening, dancing or a gym class.
Nourishing yourself. Eating regular, balanced meals and making time to enjoy your food.
Protecting your boundaries. Recognising when you have too much on your plate and saying no when you need to.
Making space for enjoyment. Spending time with friends, pursuing a hobby or doing something simply because it makes you happy.
Listening to your needs. Noticing when you feel tired, stressed or overwhelmed, rather than pushing through every time.
These small actions can help you feel more supported and make it easier to look after your health over the longer term.
Start small rather than changing everything
When we decide to improve our wellbeing, it's tempting to make lots of changes at once. We might plan to exercise more, eat better, sleep earlier and find time to relax, all while keeping up with our existing responsibilities. But adding more things to an already busy schedule can leave us feeling even more overwhelmed. Instead, try choosing just one small change.
Perhaps you could take a short walk during the day, set aside ten minutes to read, practise a few minutes of slow breathing or protect an evening each week for something you enjoy.
Ask yourself: What is one thing I could do this week that would help me feel a little better? It doesn't have to be a big change to be worthwhile. Small, realistic steps are often easier to maintain and build upon.
Give yourself permission to put yourself on the list
Looking after yourself doesn't mean you care any less about other people. In fact, supporting your own wellbeing can help you feel better equipped to manage the demands of everyday life. You don't have to earn rest by finishing everything on your to-do list. You don't have to wait until you're exhausted before you take a break. And you don't need to justify every choice you make to support your own health.
You matter too. So, the next time you find yourself putting your own needs aside, pause for a moment and ask yourself what you need. It might be rest, fresh air, a little time alone or simply permission to do less. Whatever it is, give yourself the same care and consideration you so readily offer to others.
Looking after yourself isn't selfish. It's part of living a healthier, more balanced life.
How I can help
At Women's Health Hub, I offer practical health coaching to help you explore your health and wellbeing, identify achievable changes and develop habits that work for your life.
I also deliver wellbeing talks and workshops for groups and organisations, sharing practical ideas to support health, energy and resilience. If you'd like support with your own wellbeing, or are interested in a workshop for your group or organisation, please get in touch.
Women's Health Hub — practical support for better health and wellbeing.
